SOL 2 - A Love Story

Once upon a time, in a land far far away called Denver, a princess waited in a tower. She had been in that tower for 13 years, placed there by the evil queen who ruled the land of Denver. Every day, the princess had searched and searched for a way out of the tower, rubbing her knuckles raw with the effort of scratching away at the bricks surrounding her.

One day, the princess woke up. Her nose flared, her eyes widened. She leaped out of bed and ran to the single window in the room.

"What is the incredible smell?" she asked aloud, even though she was alone in the tower. Chocolate, coconut, mint- the smells were too much for the princess to handle. Fueled by hunger and her desire for the treats, the princess punched the wall. The brick wall cracked and then crumbled into a hole conveniently big enough for the princess to step daintily through but still tear her flowing dress in the predictable fashion for princesses. She leaped down the 15 stories of the tower, her dress creating a parachute to land her softly on the ground. The princess ran in her bare feet to the source of the smell. "Samoas or do-si-dos, miss?" a chubby little girl asked. The princess had no idea how to respond since she hadn't encountered another human being for 13 years (her meals and clothes mysteriously appeared in her room at appropriate times so she didn't question it). Instead, the princess scooped up as many boxes of the glorious treats as she could carry and ran away with the girls struggling to catch up with her. 

Once in the woods located next to her tower, the princess ripped off her crown and tore the bottom part of her dress to shreds. She then stitched a new dress made of leaves, moss, and some animal hide conveniently nearby. The princess found an abandoned cave and set to work ripping the boxes she had stolen apart and emptying the contents into her newly hand-crafted wheelbarrow. She ate until she was stuffed and then went to sleep on a nearby rock. 

The princess spent the rest of her life snatching cookies from girl scouts and running back to her cave. She didn't gain any weight because she was the perfect example of a princess stereotype. As she ravaged the land of Denver, raiding homes of girl scout cookies, the townspeople decided she needed a name. It came about when a farmer noticed his stash of cookies gone and saw the princess running into the distance. "Thou hath eaten all cookies, princess!" he called after her. From then on, the people of Denver called her Thou Hath Eaten All Cookies, Princess, or THEA CP.